Confession

I have a confession.

Using powertools on my bonsai terrify me.

Serious, hands shaking, put the tool down and walk away, kind of terrified.

I can saw wood (by hand power or tool power), use nail guns with glee, build a deck or entertainment unit from scratch (*insert rude comment about Ikea that I don't really mean*) and dozens of other tool and power tool related things.... but the moment my *trees* are involved, I start to feel a little lightheaded.

And this is, I suspect, holding me back.

I've participated in a demo, going so far as to hold the tree, while someone gleefully hacked away at an innocent hollywood juniper with a dremel..... and to be honest, that may be the problem. The tree.... did not come out lovely, and the guy doing the demo actually gouged his hand badly using his tools. Having to pull out EMT training from five years prior was not my idea of a fun way to end the evening. And the whole thing may have coloured my views on it.

I have at least three trees that I suspect would benefit from some real, heavy duty carving. Two junipers and an azalea. And I just. Can't. Do it.

What I need to do is contemplate getting back in to the local scene and finding someone I trust to show me how to do it *right*. And maybe it is time, almost three years after backing out of it because of internal politics.... will those have gone away? Probably not. Am I more prepared for them? Hardly. But going in knowing what to expect and simply deciding not to play ball? That, maybe, I can do.

Because I want to get my dremel dirty.